23 weeks, 1 day.

Adelyn, if you had any idea how excited and happy you have made so many people, simply by existing, simply by continuing to grow, you would have no doubt about what awaits you when you enter the world. I don't know a lot, and I certainly don't know a lot about being a parent, or children, but I know that if a 1 pound, 6 ounce, 9 inch long little person could inspire so much love, then everything is going to be more than okay. I can do this for you. Just, please, maybe if you could focus your acrobatics on not being breech so that I don't feel your adorable kicks right in my uterus? Thank you, little Addie Belle. Thank you for throwing my world upside down and existing.

We got to see her again this morning. Still in the 68th percentile for her size. Still the most amazing sight I've ever seen.

Later in the day I went to see my friend Morgan in Murfreesboro, in town from New York to meet her big sister's three-week old baby. I got to hold the baby, my first time doing so. She writhed in my arms and spit out her pacifier. And then I sat there and stared, afraid to move a muscle. Morgan and her sister laughed at my awkwardness, and then I promptly handed incredible baby Ivy back to her mother.

Watching Morgan's sister with her new child, I felt a new sense of calm come over me about this whole mothering thing. This woman spent years trying to have children--I remember the heartache even in Morgan's voice each time something went wrong, a miscarriage, another failed treatment. And then, suddenly, something worked. They were able to have a beautiful, healthy baby boy. Two years later, an equally beautiful and healthy baby girl. And then, three weeks ago, baby Ivy. And even though it had only been three weeks since she had a C-section, Morgan's sister looked so, unarguably happy. Even with two rambunctious toddlers and a newborn.

23 weeks and 1 day. I can't believe only four months ago I was looking at a urine-soaked positive sign, questioning whether my life was over. It's only just begun.