In three months...

A lot has changed, and not so much at the same time.

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Bridal Shower Part 2.

Something about being a new parent--especially when you're young, I think--makes you take a good, hard, microscopic look at all the other details of your life. Because all the things that used to be the focus of your thoughts and daily events, back when you had all the time in the world for talking on the phone and planning outings with friends and visiting with your family, suddenly take a back seat. Well, more like the back seat in a big, long bus. A back seat waaaaay back there.

Being a new parent is all-consuming. If you go back to work or if you stay home or if you do a combo or whatever, the parenting thing is still sort of resting on the forefront of your inner-narrative. When I'm working on a project or even just curling my hair I never forget, even for a moment, about the main task at hand. (Adelyn.) And I haven't officially gone back to work, at the moment I'm still just doing side projects until this job starts in July. But my days go by so fast. Dear God it's like five minutes after my feet hit the floor at the first sound of crying over the monitor I'm back in the same place, beyond eager to hit the pillow and sleep.

It's these things that force you to re-prioritize the other stuff in your life. Like friends. You no longer have time or energy to put stock in relationships that need constant attention to remain afloat. It's only the ones that can be sustained on their own, without daily, or weekly, or even monthly resuscitation needed to survive.

That's a good and a bad thing, I guess. I'm losing touch with some people I considered important to me, and I just, literally, cannot put in the effort to keep those relationships alive. The pre-mother me would be really upset about this, because I have always put a huge priority on maintaining and nourishing my friendships. Now, though, I just have to shrug it off and say "Oh, well." Before I have time to give it a few minutes of thought there's a load of laundry to be done, or dishes to be washed. Dinner to be cooked and a baby who needs to be fed.

But the good, the good has made me realize the people in my life who will be there permanently and forever, who let me vent about a fussy baby and my confusion about where my life is going, the people who listen and don't ask anything of me but to do the same for them.

I was blessed a long time ago with a group of core friends and family who care about me just as much as I care about them. It's these people who have remained, who call me just to ask how Adelyn is doing, who I'm willing to stay up an extra hour at night to talk to. I couldn't live without them.

All these thoughts came and kind of smacked me in the face this Saturday at my bridal shower, surrounded by those very people. A few of my best, best friends couldn't be there--one lives in California, the other in New York along with my sister, and one had to work. But they, in true best friend fashion, called just to say hi.

Adelyn is the lucky one, because she gets all these people in her life from the very beginning.

Addy and Trey, my mom's friend who hosted the wonderful shower for me. This woman is like hostess extraordinaire. I couldn't have asked for more. And I just love her, amazing party-thrower aside.
Jason's cousin and my future-cousin Kristy, who magically put a stop to Adelyn's crying fit with this holding position. She has two young daughters. She knows the tricks. And I took mental notes.
Jaclyn and Ella. It was Jaclyn's birthday that day, too. So happy birthday, Jaclyn! And Ella is the easiest baby to take pictures of ever, because she's SO FREAKING CALM. Seriously.
Me and my lovely momma. Her gifts were wonderful and hilarious. Along with an amazing picnic basket and some adorable pajamas, she individually wrapped a thing of hummus, some salsa, lime chips, salami, and spreadable brie. All individually wrapped. She didn't understand why I found this so funny.
Adelyn and her gorgeous Auntie Erin.
Me, Erin, Adelyn, and three of Jason's lovely cousins.
Beautiful Jazzy.

Candice and Kennedy, in her second outfit of the day. The thing about mommy friends, the second we both saw the stain creeping up on Kennedy's cute little jeans we both sprang into action. Because I've been there, oh so many times already.

And Addy, the star of the event and of every day in our lives. She later threw up all over this outfit.

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Mommy Friends.

My mom told me a long, long time ago just how important it was to have mommy friends. See, I'm the only one from my close group of girl friends with a baby, or even with a baby on the nearby agenda. They've all been wonderful, really, letting me vent about spit-up and bedtime routines. My friend Morgan let me cry for, like, an hour on the phone one of the first nights home from the hospital, just because I was so overwhelmed with my new life. She also asked me about 2,000 questions about the brutal, honest truth of labor.

"I'm so happy you did it first, Sarah," she said to me. "Now we can know what to expect."

Like weeks of post-labor bleeding and pushing so hard you vomit and the fact that the nurses come SQUASH down on your belly--once the epidural is turned off--every thirty minutes for four hours after the baby's born. The things they don't tell you.

Anyway. As great as my friends have been, there's something about talking to other women who have been there that is sort of necessary when you're a mommy. That's why so many of us flock to BabyCenter and why we post countless comments on our friends' baby pictures on Facebook. There's strength in numbers.

Jason's sister, Erin, who's also one of my oldest friends, introduced me to Jaclyn, her best friend, a long time ago. Jaclyn gave birth to Ella three months before I had Adelyn, giving me ample time to inundate her with text messages and e-mails asking questions like "Did it hurt?"

A week after we'd been home, Jaclyn and her husband Joel brought us homemade chicken pot pie. I felt terrible, after that night, because we hadn't done that for them after Ella was born. The thing is, you don't realize how freaking incredible a homemade--not by you--dinner is with a newborn around until you've been there. Jaclyn and I haven't gotten to hang out as much as we'd planned post-babies, mostly because she works a full-time job and babies pretty much take over your schedule. But Jaclyn is incredibly close to Jason's family already. I have a feeling she'll grow up with Ella as a pseudo-cousin.

A few weeks before I delivered a friend of my family's introduced me to Candice, who was due about a month after me. So, that, plus the fact that we both live in Middle Tennessee, already means we have a lot in common. Add the fact that she's Jewish--one of only a handful around here--and I feel like we're sort of mommy-soulmates. Her daughter Kennedy is three weeks younger than Adelyn. We've been trying to get together at least once a week. Candice and I spend hours talking about everything from bottles to Bumpos to sleep habits--every so often we'll throw in something non-baby related--and Kennedy and Adelyn pretty much remain oblivious to each other's existence.

(One time a few weeks ago, Jason and I were sitting with Jaclyn and Joel when Adelyn started crying. Ella, who's the calmest baby, like, ever--starting mimicking Adelyn's whines. It was adorable. Kennedy and Adelyn, on the other hand, are still in the stage where the world only exists within a one-foot radius of their faces.)

I know these friendships will become infinitely more valuable as our children grow up. There's only so many times you can talk baby with your husband/boyfriend/partner before you need another voice, another opinion, to rest on.

Kennedy and Adelyn.

Ella, who is--I can't believe it!--already almost six months. It seems like yesterday I was getting a call from Erin at one in the morning telling me that Jaclyn was in the hospital.

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