Two-month shots.
>> Monday, March 29, 2010
Watching someone jam needles into my baby's legs was more painful than pushing her out during labor.
Today's two month doctor's appointment reminded me what it is about this beginning stage I have such trouble with. See, I'm a communicative person. My entire life, communication has been what's kept me sane. Talking, expressing, trying to understand other people. It's why I turned to writing at such a young age--it's this free-flow of ideas and words between people and cultures that made me fall in love with literature in the first place (and by literature, I mean books, movies, the news--just stories, all of them).
And that's the main thing about newborns I'm finding so difficult. It wasn't so much the pain Addy was in this morning when she got her two month shots. Because even though I know that pain is real, I know no matter how hard she cries that the sensation is fleeting and for her own good. But it's the not being able to explain it to her that kills me. The feeling that my smiling baby (seriously, the girl had the hugest grin on her face until that needle pierced her skin) couldn't understand at all why this pain was being inflicted on her.
I'm cherishing every moment of her development, I promise. Or I'm trying my best to. It's just I can't help but be anxious for a time when I can sit her down and tell her why she needs this shot, why the brief stinging is worth it. When I can tell her that constipation does, indeed, suck, but mommy's rubbing on her belly not to annoy her, but to try to help. When I can explain to her that she will be getting more food after I burp her, that the screaming for more isn't necessary.
Poor little girl. She's lying in her swing, sleepy from the shots, the Tylenol, or just the commotion of the whole ordeal. And when she wakes up she still won't know that it was because we love her.
3 comments:
wow, great post. you do such a wonderful job expressing yourself each time you post.
giving so much of yourself and not getting anything back, in regards to newborns, is so hard. i remember feeling some of the emotions you have been going through.
but it is soo worth it. especially when they are 2 and you can play and chat all day long and even get tired of them yelling for mom all day:)
I still cry every time my daughter gets her shots. I start dreading them the minute we leave the doctor's office and I know that she'll get more on her next trip. I know it's for her own good, but it doesn't make it any easier until they're over. Good luck.
I know this won't help at all for this particular situation, but for general communication have you looked into baby sign language? Sounds really interesting to me, and a fun thing to learn =)
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