Breastfeeding.
>> Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I'm months away from the actual decision and it's somehow already permeated my thoughts. My body usually fails me, and I don't say that to be dramatic. Not that I come down with a new cancer every time I get a check-up, but in the past--and definitely in my psyche--whatever I want to happen with my body inevitably won't, or even if it does, it will find another way to let me down.
That's why I already worry about breastfeeding. What if I can't? What if my baby won't? The judgement! The shame! It's enough to send a 23 year old woman who didn't even know if she ever wanted to be a mom into a panic attack.
I plan on doing my best to stick to the breast, at least for a while, but I've been searching endlessly for a level-headed, well-constructed exploration of the Breast is Best Army. Personally, I think it's probably the better route assuming my body and baby allows it to be, but not because formula is EVIL or will somehow destroy my child's future. My mom breastfed me at least to if not way beyond the recommended age, and I wound up with severe Crohn's Disease at 10 years old. It's not--it can't be--that black and white.
I just stumbled upon this article from The Atlantic, and it was exactly what I'd been searching for. Real argument and research devoid of any "because I said so's."
I hope I can breastfeed. But I'm becoming very, very accustomed to things not going to plan.
--Sorry I haven't written much lately. I'm having a major case of writer's block/coming up with anything worthwhile to say. Hoping finishing The Road, aka the most depressing book I've read in a while, will spark something in me.
5 comments:
In my experience (you'll probably get a lot of this, so forgive me) it was difficult and painful at first, but SO worth it, because I'm not very organized, and I would never have had bottles clean and ready - much less remembered them if I'd gone out anywhere - and in the middle of the night, it's SO much easier.
BUT, I have a friend who was having a dreadful time of trying to breastfeed, and a nurse told her, "It's more important for your baby to have a sane mother than breastmilk." Well said.
One of the more difficult things for me (ridiculously sensitive to the opinions of others) was the vast amount of judgment out there regardless of what I did as a mother. It's a bizarre subculture where moms get judged by each other AND society outside the subculture.
You're just lovely and I'm enjoying reading your posts.
I have to say, I went and read that article and, on the first page, I was incredibly offended.
But ultimately, the arguments are valid!
However, based on my own research, I do think that the health benefits were slightly downplayed... if not on the baby's part, then on the mother's. Breastfeeding is an important factor in reducing incidences of female cancers (breast, ovarian, etc) for the mum, as well as decreasing the incidence and severity of postpartum depression /end soapbox.
I must say, I absolutely love that you are attempting (though with all the judgement out there, it's tough!) not to make your decision to breastfeed a moral battle or investing your self-worth into it. Your process is much more rational and well-thought than many, much older mothers I know. Thanks for sharing the journey with us :)
I agree about the judgments...
As a mother, you will be judged for what ever choice you make.
I have two kids. I had my first at 18 years old and was scared s***less. I wanted to breastfeed as well and tried to for 3 months. I had a lot of problems with her, but I pumped milk and gave it to her in a bottle. Woohoo! (sarcasm here)I did a great thing for my baby ! And nearly made myself crazy in the process!!! I don't recommend it...
With the second one I was SO scared that the same thing would happen, and was flooded with advice while I was pregnant (another thing you will get used to as a parent... unsolicited advice). I decided to prepare myself as best as possible so that it would go smoothly and it really worked. I read a great book called "Breastfeeding Made Simple" (great instructions and suggestions, slightly pushy ideals). It really helped me after the baby was born when I hit a few hiccups to have a reference book with photos etc to look at. I also got a recommendation for a lactation consultant in case I needed it. I felt better knowing that I had someone to call if I needed to...
I love reading about the stages that you are going through. I remember the exact same things from about a year ago. You seem to be doing really well!
I tried breastfeeding. It did not work for us. "It's more important for your baby to have a sane mother than breast milk," is excellent advice. I tried so many things--mother's milk tea, pumping constantly, beer, and finally prescription hormones. The hormones made me incredibly tired (more so than normal, I have a 2 month old tired), and that is when I decided to call it quits. I learned for myself that it's better to be an active mommy who isn't too tired to play or chained to a pump than nurse.
One commenter suggested she feared she would be too disorganized to bottle feed. I have to confess that on one of my first outings, I forgot to bring a bottle. Formula and water I remembered. (If you do go the formula route, there is an excellent product made by Munchkin. I think other companies make one as well. But it's a canister with three separate compartments and a lid with a small opening you can twist around. You measure the formula you need in each compartment and pour into the bottle. It makes traveling so easy! And also Similac makes single serving formula packets. So organizationally, it's not so hard.)
Before you decide what to do, I want to share what happened with me, so hopefully you won't have any of the same issues. We started off trying only breastfeeding. Our baby cried all the time, but hey, that's what babies too. We went home from the hospital and took him to his doctor for his first visit. I explained that we were trying to breastfeed and that he didn't seem satisfied. I confessed that we had given him some of a bottle. The doctor told me that he's a baby and babies cry. Giving formula was a bad idea because it would decrease my milk supply. So I tried listening to her. But I couldn't just let my baby cry, so I gave him a bottle. And it's a good thing I did. Turns out, he wasn't getting anything when he nursed and he was dehydrated. I went to a lactation consultant who was worse than useless. I know now the problem was my milk supply and she should have recommended a supplemental nursing system (like a backpack I would fill with formula with a tube running over my shoulder to my nipple, so the baby would nurse and drink formula at the same time, to stimulate me to make milk.) Instead, she told me my baby needed surgery to fix a problem with his tongue that was preventing him from nursing and sold me a very expensive feeding system for babies who couldn't suck properly. My baby could suck perfectly. The problem was me. When my milk finally did come in, I couldn't meet his demands. Even when pumping almost all the time I wasn't sleeping or nursing.
So, maybe if I hadn't given him the formula my milk would have come in faster and better. But then he would have been even more dehydrated.
Most of the people at la leche were great really supportive of my nurse and bottle strategy, saying that even if I breastfeed a little it's good for both me and the baby. (But I wanted to smack one women who told me I wasn't dedicated to breastfeeding and that my baby wasn't actually dehydrated, I was just using disposable diapers so I couldn't tell they were wet.)
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