A day in the life of someone who's 12 weeks, 3 days pregnant.

Update! I ate the sandwich. Aren't you just so totally interested? And in the process of reheating it in the oven to avoid listeriosis, I burned the hell out of my fingers and burned the bread beyond recognition. But I still ate it.

I can't get a massage today, because they're scared that if they touch my foot I just might pop a fetus out, oh, 28 weeks early, or I might spontaneously combust and cover them in contagious pregnancy-juices that mean that they will now be the ones who have to throw up everyday and get fat and eat every hour and take care of a human.

I was supposed to have lunch with someone, but that would mean I would have to A) take a shower right now, and B) drive half an hour to Murfreesboro. My couch is just really comfy. And I have to fall back asleep by at least six tonight so I can function at work tonight at 12 AM.

I already had 2 donuts when I woke up 2 hours ago.

And I have a leftover turkey, brie and apple sandwich (I'm gonna heat it up! and the brie is pasteurized! Don't throw things at me).

But, alas, it's only 9:30 in the morning. That's not an acceptable hour to eat brie, is it?

And this is the main predicament of my day. I'll probably be giving in within the next 10 minutes. After that, maybe--just maybe--I'll shower.

Get ready for a soul-searching "my life sucks and now consists of scheduling brie and putting off showers and canceling lunches and I'm so alone and I'm sitting here in my fiance's shirt who's 6 foot 2 and 200 lbs and I'm 5 foot 1 and 100 pounds and it's the same thing I put on when I got home from work YESTERDAY morning and I'm already letting myself go" post--coming soon.